


to ashes,

by sweethaven



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Future Fic, M/M, im not gonna tag major character death bc its not /like/ that but, its been like 50 years theyre all dead im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 15:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6711343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweethaven/pseuds/sweethaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When every last tie to humanity in Simon's life is gone, where can he go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	to ashes,

**Author's Note:**

> sorry everyone's dead but!! I wonder who simon suddenly seeks out now that all his shadowhunter ties r gone ?? hm??  
> EDIT: k as ive realised: shadowhunters are not just buried in a churchyard (unless they're " unhonourable deaths" like ooo jeez) but let's pretend aight

Simon is feeling empty. Understandable, since he just left the funeral of his last friend.

Alec's funeral had been somber and dark, the mood not helped by the midnight setting. Simon had only recognised one person there, if he didn't count headstones. It was Magnus, standing on the other side of the precession. They made eye contact once. Simon's eyes teary, Magnus' cat eyes glazed and blank (It was the first time Simon had seen his real eyes, but Simon could imagine grief took precedence over glamour.) Magnus gave him a solemn nod, a wordless immortal understanding.

Alec was buried beside his sister, two matching graves, and Simon told himself the sickness he felt was from standing on holy ground. Even though he was lying to himself, he didn't feel it was a good idea to tempt the powers that be anymore than necessary. Magnus had left the minute someone tried to speak to him, so Simon didn't have anyone to stick around for anyway.

After Simon left the cemetery grounds, he let himself wander. There wasn't a reason to head to the Institute, he wouldn't be welcome there after today, (as if he ever truly had been) and he didn't have anything of worth to go back for. So, Simon just walked around mindlessly, trying to ward off his pressing grief.

When Simon eventually stops, he finds himself in front of the Hotel Dumort. He isn't surprised, should be, it's been 50 years, but he's not surprised. The hotel, and the people inside of it have been on his mind far too often for how long it's been. He wants to think there's nothing in there for him (There _isn't_ , not anymore) but he can't help it. One step over the threshold of the chain link fence, and he sees a flash of movement, coming to a stop in front of him.

It's Raphael, of course it's Raphael. It's who Simon came here for, but that doesn't stop him from hoping someone else had came out to scold him. Maybe not everything has changed for Simon, if Raphael is still the prettiest person he's ever seen, and if he's still completely caught off guard just by seeing him. They don't say anything and it really should be awkward but Simon doesn't feel it, and Raphael looks the same as he did half a century ago. Well-dressed, a bit more scarred, a bit less murderous (or is Simon misreading the look in his eyes?) He's eyeing Simon's dark funeral suit and then shakes his head and looks away. It's been a few minutes and Simon feels they've had more than enough time to silently reacquaint themselves with eachother, so Simon speaks up.

"Sorry, about the whole.. Camille thing. I should've chose you." Simon hadn't meant to phrase it like that and winces, eternally grateful for not being able to blush. Raphael just huffs and rolls his eyes.

  
"Couple decades late, fled-" Raphael cuts himself off with raised eyebrows, "Not much of a fledging now, are you? How was your first 50?"

  
"It sucked." Simon says without even thinking about the pun, and watches as the corner of Raphael's mouth quirks up for a moment.

"I'm sure." Raphael remarks.

This is feeling way too relaxed, but maybe time does that, smooths over the rough edges.

  
"I'm-" Simon starts, but is interrupted by Raphael.

  
"Simon, be honest, why are you here?" He asks, and Simon is shocked into silence. Raphael looks patient though, like he thinks Simon needs to figure it out, too. Simon doesn't need the time, but he allows himself a minute to think. He came to apologise, but if he's learned anything over the years, it's to always have ulterior motives... but he just doesn't have any? It's almost unbelievable, how this relatively small mistake weighed so hard on Simon that he's just here to _apologise_ , but, well, he's here.

"Raphael, I'm sorry I went behind your back, and betrayed the clan's and your trust by releasing Camille... and that is the only reason I'm here, I promise." Simon says it steadily, even though for some reason it weighs like it's a very important confession. Raphael regards him for a moment, just maintaining eye contact like he's searching for something.

  
"Where are you staying?" He finally asks, and okay, Simon hadn't even thought about that.

  
"Oh! I.. don't know? I'm sure I can find somewhere though." Simon almost tacks on a "Don't worry" but saves himself just in time. Raphael doesn't care about him, he's not worrying.

Another silence passes and this time Simon feels awkward. Raphael is probably too deep in thought, watching the crescent moon, to notice.

"Come on," He says, breaking the quiet, and turns to walk back into the hotel.

  
"Wha- what?" Simon chokes out but follows, because well, Raphael could ask him to do anything right now.

  
"You'll have much less freedom than when you first came around, and I'll make sure you'll be babysat adequately so you don't make too many shadowhunter loyalties-"

Raphael is saying things like he's letting Simon back in and Simon can't help but blurt out, "Am I getting my old room back?"

Raphael doesn't stop and his step doesn't falter, but there's a sudden tenseness to his shoulders and he throws a glance back at Simon.

"If you want, it's empty. Would be easier for me to keep an eye on you, anyway." Raphael says, and Simon is grinning and he knows exactly why. Time smooths over denial too.

They get stares from all the clan members but they must trust Raphael's judgement completely, because no one says a word. Simon gets his old room back, right beside Raphael's. Standing in the middle of it leaves Simon with deja vu, but Raphael doesn't comment.

"Settle in, Simon and uh," He pauses in the doorway, a quick smirk on his lips, "Welcome home." and then he's gone. Simon can't stop the feeling of warmth rising in his dead heart, and he would never want to. He looks back at his bare room. Simon will definitely miss everyone, everything he had, but this is a new start. Hopefully, it'll work out better this time around.

God, he really hopes.

**Author's Note:**

> would it take simon 50 something years to apologise? maybe he's been busy, being a vampire rly keeps u occupied. also decades long crushes are embarrassing. anyways this was supposed to be pure angst and raphael would be like "Simon? I don't know her?" or whatever and kick simon out of his life for good (bc let's be honest,,, Simon is, a mess) but,, I want them happy :(


End file.
